But it seemed to make sense. My results appeared to show that I am dominantly artistic but also have a sense of conventional - meaning I'm suited to occupations such as accountancy, lawyer, etc. these two are actually contradictory to each other, causing me to feel stress. It is possible to find a balance but it makes sense now.
Have also been doing a few other tests online and all seem consistent with that result. I walked away thinking, ah, I know what to do now.
But, I feel that those closest to me don't see me as who I really am. They see me as a project to groom, to teach to invest, someone to learn the business. I don't deny that they are good things to learn... But they don't understand the immense pounds of masks they put on me when they say they let me be me, yet when I tell them what I wanna do what I wanna be, they fear I will be lost and insists they would groom me.
If only they understood what I have been going through these past few weeks. Wanting to rip off the masks I have been wearing. I literally wanted so badly to bash my head through the wall, slice through my skin. My mind seems to think that would help me break free. I didn't understand it before, all those feelings... Wanting to cut my skin out, wanting to reach into my brain and pull out the part of me that is making me feel anxiety, stress, anger, frustration.
I didn't understand... I do now.
How do I find this balance within myself?
