I have been thinking, and maybe I am a spoilt brat, but I have to say...
What's worse than disapproval?
DENIAL.
As usual, I shall remain vague and 'subtle' about the issues that bug me.
But, recently, I realised that I'd rather someone just tell me straight to my face what they think. I would very much rather that someone just tell me if they approve or disapprove.
I would very much prefer that and despise the DENIAL that the whole thing even exists and that the whole thing is a silly thing that I have cooked up in my head.
Because it is not. It may be very petty to them but it is big to me and them choosing to ignore my concerns makes me feel like I'm not being taken seriously.
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It is as if my dreams, my own goals won't matter because ultimately, in the end, they will still insist on the goals and dreams they have dreamt up for me.
I appreciate all the guidance but I need to know that they won't judge when I tell them my goals which may be so different from what they are used to.
I admit that most of the time I do not know what I want. But that's not true.
Most of the time I know what I want but I want to know that it is truly the best for me.
It took me a long while but perhaps it is about going down the path that I want and making it the best for me.
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I have always been honest with people.
But, how do I be honest with myself?
