... of detachment.
Watching the world from the outside in.
I am reverting back
Yes, simultaneously! And, it has been hurting for 3 days now. Makes me tired and grumpy. Well, more grumpy I suppose. It also makes swallowing saliva a bit of a pain.
So, shopping in Queen Victoria market today, I decided that I needed some spinach in my diet.
Armed with ingredients from the market, I made curry and tossed in some carrots, tomatoes and lots of spinach. (note: I did not make curry from scratch.)
And, yes, white porcelain bowl makes my food look a little more appetizing than it really is. HAHA!
TIL: Today I learnt...
1. I have found my natural talent - 'saying the wrong thing all the time'
[Note to self: not everyone takes jabbing jokes lightly. This way of making friends is only effective in Malaysia (maybe?)]
2. I own very few t-shirts that do not make some sort of statement or has a drawing of some sort in front of it
[Does that mean I'm cheap? ie. I am not willing to pay for a t-shirt that doesn't have enough on it? Yeah, I am CINA that way]
---
I also learnt that ...
Food seldom ever looks unappetizing in a white porcelain bowl
[I bought two new bowls 'cause I broke two in the course of ... two months *clap hands everyone* Thank you]
Petrichor
"Rain, is a deceitful plan of mother nature
It leads with a beautiful smell before it lands
Guiding us into a flurry of chaos and wind
Drenching us in the sorrow of tears
Ah, mother, why do you lie to us so?
The winds, they gust they screech
The droplets hit with such gist
Painful is the experience of rain
But when it stops it leaves us no pain
It leaves with a beautiful smell
It leaves with a lingering sparkle
It leaves us with a breath of sweetness
A beauty of wonders and a freshness of bare
Rain, so deceitful sometimes.
Yet it always announces its presence
Through that beautiful smell
Lift your nose up to that inhale of petrichor."
Just some random words that flooded my mind as I walked toward the law school, smell of oncoming rain filled my lungs. And, true to Melbourne weather, the seemingly mild day turned into a a big flurry of winds and a downpour of rain.
I observe my oddness
As I sat at the edge my class today, in a dark corner, my classmates so kindly ask why do I sit all alone in the darkness.
I say: "Because I want to."
I enjoy my solitude. Yet when I see a group of familiar faces (or perhaps just familiar accents?), I still yearn to be part of them. Then, I like returning to my solitude again.
But, I find solitude is too quiet. So I turn to music, I turn to shows to watch. All of this, so that I have some noise around me as I enjoy my solitude.
It makes me wonder, do I actually enjoy being left alone? Why do I think I want to be alone when I still find myself not entirely enjoying 'isolation'.
Boy, this is beginning to sound like that song 'Lemon Trees'. The writer too seems to give out confusing messages in that song.
Tell me, what is it about my personality that makes me weird?
I often wonder what people actually say behind my back. I bet they hate me for running away from social gatherings at times etc. I bet they think I'm rude. I bet they think I am a snob.
I bet they can't understand what I'm about 'cause even I don't.
People often say to stop thinking so much, but, really, I don't think I could stop myself.
---
On a side note, I was watching 'America's Next Top Model' and I noticed that people who are considered to 'not have personality' are people who are not divas, preppy, or just plain crazy.
Seriously, Tyra, stop sending weirdos to teach your great lessons 'cause the models are getting a little confused as to what is 'real' and what is not.
Just jump, like Alice
He says:
i don'tknow. lately i've realised, there's so much i don't know. it feels like i don't really know her.
I say:
but tis like picking a book to buy
u just go for it
judging from the summary, the cover, the title, the writer, and the few pages u hv flipped thru
u just gotta decide
"Jump into the rabbit hole"
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