"To love or not to love"

"To love or not to love?"

The question keeps getting harder and harder...

AND, scarier...

Used to have so little fear. What happened?

two weeks feels like a long time..

"two weeks feels like a long time.."

Yet, it has just flew by.

I have been back home and working for 2 weeks now and I have to say everything has moved 

so fast.

The food back home somehow tastes so much better to me now :P Though, I insist on having 

more home-cooked/ home-prepared food lately.

Work has been interesting. The seniors are really nice and are awesomely patient at explaining 

all that they are aiming to do.

Definitely a great learning experience. I was honestly preparing myself for filing, printing, 

data entering and getting coffee for the staff members.

So, one would say I am now pleasantly surprised at the internship programme.

One thing that REALLY gets to me though? THe friggin' KTM! The friggin so called friggin' train! 

It's just too small, too infrequent, too old and too few of them. 

To add salt to the already painful train experiences, ppl choose to PUSH you in or nudge you to

the side as you already struggle to get through the tiny tiny doors! Like, I know asians are 

suppose to be smaller but seriously?? what kind of train designer would design such friggin 

small doors?!?!?!?! THINK damn it think!!

Oh, and as I have mentioned to a few of my friends already, the anti-smoking ad that is on every

single handle (that you hold on to for balance) really just makes me wanna smoke more than it 

makes me wanna stop. I say this because they have potrayed a VERY healthy looking chinese 

man smoking and the smoke is floating around him in a very artistic fashion and all of this is on a

black backdrop. Honestly, it makes cigarettes a lot more appealing than it is.

If you're gonna say smoking kills... put a guy who actually looks like he's dying!? Or at least make

the words "SMOKING KILLS" like 50 times bigger than it is?

Complaints about the government aside, I have been loving the predictability of the weather here!

It actually took me a day or two to forget about bringing a jacket around :P

Somehow, being back always brings back my confidence and motivation that I seem to lack 

when I am back in Melbourne. I guess tis the love of family and friends here that keep me strong. 

Not that I don't have any family or friends in Melb tho. But, Melb... is just somehow a lil lonelier for

me. It makes me feel like love is just not enough.

Well, Im just glad Im home. Shall enjoy the warmth (literally and metaphorically) whilst I can :)

small talk

"Small Talk"

Sometimes... I forget how do to do it. 

Your name

Your country

Your course

Your interests

Your age

Your hobbies

Sometimes, I miss high school where we could always talk about bullshit, nonsense and knew what everyone was "doing" 'cause we all saw each other everyday anyways.

"Oh, hi! So what have you been up to?" 

Sue-Anne's brain processing: "Don't know... Can't remember... *struggles to recall*" 

Blurts out: "Nothing much, really."

Something tells me that I have forgotten how to socialise. aikz~

Missing home~

"Missing home"

Keep dreaming about home. Friends back home. Family back home. 

Dreamt about swimming with friends back home. Dreamt about riding Elephants with family back home. 

I had a "taste" of home last night. A new cafe opened up on Elizabeth Street called "Coconut House". The most authentic Nasi Lemak I have had in Melbourne so far! Got the egg, the papadum, the santan rice, the sambal, the ikan bilis, the peanuts, the cucumber, the wonderful-mouth-watering curry and CHICKEN!! Dang na bit. Twas awesome.

Sometimes I sit at my table and forget that I am actually in Australia- only to look up from Quantitative Methods and see an unfamiliar lay out... 

Sometimes I think Im at home when I decide to wear shorts and a t shirt to step out to buy groceries- only to realise the sun may be shining but the wind is bloody cold...

Home-- it's warm, sunny, has small walkways, where shops open even AFTER proper working hours (8am-5pm), where one can count on a good friend to step up to help, where family really is.

A lil cross-stitch that used to hang in my house.  

"Home Sweet Home- Where the heart is *heart*" 

SO true~ 

We all need to move on

"We all need to move on"

And by "we", I mean "me".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHA!!

Sue-Anne is crazily addicted to 'one tree hill'. It's like a teenage version of daytime soap opera but I llOooveee it! :P

I must quit you

"I must quit you"

Coffee & Cigarettes by Michelle Featherstone 

I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday

I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I thought that if I didn’t go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn’t go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I must quit, I must quit, you

never letting you go

"never letting YOU go"

... yet I'm choking myself. 

I wonder if really feminine boutique stores would hire me. Like, 'Peter Alexander'? I wonder if I do get hired, will I become super girly like the store is? :P

I wonder if this 'recession' will mean that I won't get hired next year? 

Would I opt to suffer in pain and die if I ever get cancer or will I go through the usual chemotherapy? On the basis that the cancer cells have spread and/or is quite big.

Will I actually be afraid when staring in the face of death or will I be just as calm about as I am now? 

This natural balance of life... I believe in it yet I don't understand it. If we were meant to die some time- why did God give us enough brains to slow down/quicken (pollution and all) the process? 

One's death doesn't bring joy to anyone in the world but does it bring relief to the one who had to suffer before dying?

When will the end justify the means?

When will one cease to believe?